A Mouthful of Intelligence

What if the secret to a sharper mind isn’t a university degree, a crossword puzzle, or an expensive brain-training app—but the tiny creatures living on your tongue?

A new study published in PLOS ONE examined 60 healthy adults in the UK and Belgium and found that people with more of a particular bacterium, Prevotella histicola, responded faster on certain cognitive tests.

The theory? Some mouth bacteria help convert dietary nitrate—from foods like beetroot—into nitrite, which contributes to producing nitric oxide. This molecule helps blood vessels relax and widen. Could your tongue’s microscopic residents be helping your brain work more efficiently? 

Scientists aren’t ready to declare victory just yet. The study found associations, not proof of cause and effect. And faster answers don’t necessarily mean smarter answers.

But Reddit, naturally, has already moved on to the practical applications.

“Who do I need to French kiss to get them high IQs bacteria?” asked one hopeful genius-in-waiting.

The replies came quickly:

  • “A beetroot eater, obvs.”
  • “A booty eater, obvs.”
  • “Gotta buy me dinner first.”

Science has a way of turning romance into a public-health intervention.

Meanwhile, one commenter reported getting the same mental boost from beer and sugary treats. Another suggested alcohol might lower inhibitions and make memories easier to access—though whether that produces correct answers or merely faster wrong answers remains an important distinction.

Imagine the future of dating:

“What’s your type?”

“Someone with a diverse oral microbiome, excellent nitrate metabolism, and a willingness to skip the antiseptic mouthwash.”

First dates could include a beetroot salad, a cognitive reaction-time test, and a very awkward conversation about tongue swabs.

Naturally, the supplement industry will be watching. Why buy a brain-training subscription when you might be able to acquire the right bacteria through a romantic encounter? Forget The Bachelor. Welcome to The Bacterium.

One small problem: researchers haven’t shown that kissing transfers the right bacteria in useful quantities, or that acquiring them would improve your intelligence. The study was small, and the results need further investigation.

So, for now, don’t abandon your books, cancel your dentist appointment, or start interviewing potential partners about their Prevotella levels.

But perhaps the next time someone says they want a meeting of the minds, you should ask a follow-up question.

“Intellectually, of course. But have you had your beetroot today?”

Disclaimer: No romantic partners, beetroot salads, or tongue bacteria were harmed in the writing of this blog. The science is preliminary; the Reddit comments are considerably more confident.

 REFERENCES

https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0359559

https://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/1x3iofp/tongue_bacteria_may_be_linked_to_how_fast_you/ 

 

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